The Diary of Mr Potter
by branchy
Summary: The title says it all... or does it? to tell the truth, i dont know. third chap. review...plz?
1. Day 1

Day 1  
  
2:30 PM  
  
Today Prof Dumbledore told us - oh wait. Should I err... introduce myself first? Bloody hell. I have no idea how these diary things work, why do I have to introduce myself when I'm obviously just talking to myself. MYSELF!!! But Hermione explained all this diary crap to me after Dumbledore told us - ugh. GRRR... might as well introduce myself so i can bloody get on with this. My name is Harry J Potter, I've saved the world.. err... how many times? Well, a lot of times, and I'm terribly famous. My best friends are Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The end. So - AHHHH!!!   
  
2:35 PM  
  
Har har. Hermione just read over my shoulder and scared me. I hate it when she does that. Well, anyway, she said," Tsk tsk, wrong, Harry, completely wrong, let me teach you about the proper format of diaries AGAIN, first of all- blah blah blah, whatever." Heh. It's not like I'm going to listen to her. I never do, but I do suppose I should include a bit more about me... so here i go. (Be proud of me, Hermione, I'm actually putting one of your suggestions to action!) Oh wait, on second thought, I'm never going to let her read this again. SO, um, additional information about the all famous Harry Potter:*turns around and peers suspiciously over shoulder* Ok. I'll write down the one thing they don't have in books. *Feels around for invisible people* I'm in love with Ginny Weasley.*feels stupid**clears throat**feels very stupid* ANYWAYS, that's everything about me. Want to know more? Look it up, I'm sure they've written loads of books about me. So about what Dumbledore said, he   
  
7:40 PM  
  
Just got back from McGonagall's office. Write about that later. So FINALLY, this morning, Dumbledore informed me of some BRILLIANT NEWS (i'm being sarcastic, mind you). Voldemort has a new mission now. He's found his own secret weapon, but the problem is, he doesnt have it yet. After a great deal of research, the order has discovered that his spies have been around me more than usual, and he's been flipping through all the books about me. *laughs at the irony* He's the one who made me famous in the first place, and now he's - what - trying to be my biggest fan? HAHAHA. What the hell? So, anyways, Dumbledore thinks the "secret weapon" he wants is me, not me as in Harry Potter, but as in I hold the clue to his weapon. He thinks the clue is hidden somewhere in my life, it lies in the story of Harry Potter. But since I'm not dead yet, it may be very likely that the clue is hidden in my future. So now he wants me to write in this freaking diary, which will automatically analyze everything I write in here and browse for clues. Heh. Sounds like a computer. Well, do you think I agreed with all this stupid "clue-finding" bullshit? Hell no. This is how it went:   
  
D: So, Harry, here's your diary, (hands diary over)  
  
H: (Doesnt take it) Excuse me for asking, SIR, but I still dont understand why I have to do this."   
  
D: (Withdraws diary and sighs) I told you Harry, the death eaters have been on a quite odd library behavior lately, searching up and down the country for every scrap of information on you. Haven't you noticed that even Mr. Malfoy has been treating you unusually good lately? Trying to be your best mate and listening in on your conversations?   
  
H: (snorts) so? what does that prove? How do you know they're not just being flaming obsessed dykes?   
  
D: (shakes head slowly) No, Harry, (sighs) I'm sorry, but they're not. There's a truth behind it, but I'm afraid you musn't know yet...   
  
H:(gets angry) so what you're saying is all that ******* bullshit you told me last year was all lies?! Everything you said about "finally telling me everything?"  
  
  
  
D: Harry, no, its not -  
  
H: Do you have any idea how hard it is -   
  
D:I -   
  
oh, screw that. I'm in no mood to write our entire conversation down, especially the parts about.. Sirius.   
  
Summary: I managed to let him convince me to write in this diary. (Duh) And all my mates have to write in similar diaries too. Why? Because ,apparently, the clue may also lie in areas where their lives intersect with mine. Don't ask me, I have no idea what that means. It's like Venn diagrams. (something I learned when I was still going to muggle school.) Anyways, that's what I went to McGonagall's office for. She filled me in on the details and gave me a list of all the people whom she thought I was close to. List: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley *gulp* (has she noticed?), Neville Longbottom (err right), Cho Chang (the ex), Weasley Twins, Hagrid, Luna Lovegood, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan (room mates), Susan Bones (From the DA, I s'pose), Lavender Brown (uh..), Parvati and Padma Patil (wth?), and Remus Lupin. They'll be given similar diaries and informed of the situation. Other then that, she also told me that I would be sent to an exotic environment every once in a while, so that they could understand all my reactions towards different things. And I'm not the only one who'll be going on these little "trips." All my fellow "diary wielders" will be coming with me. *rolls eyes* brilliant, eh? Tired. Write more tomorrow, I s'pose.   
  
Over and out  
  
- Harry   
  
P.S. not bad, eh? I've written a whole page just on my very first day! Ugh. I sound like Hermione. 


	2. Day 2

Day 2  
  
6:20 AM  
  
The story of how I woke up at five AM, feeling very, very annoyed:   
  
Ron: Harry, wake up! Wake up! Wake up!  
  
H: Mrumph Gsh Lyssss  
  
R: WAKE UP! WAKE UP!  
  
Neville: *whines* Mummy, it's Sunday...   
  
R: Go back to sleep, Neville. Harry, wake up! *shakes Harry*  
  
H: *opens eyes and feels murderous* WHAT?  
  
R: Dumbledore says he wants to see us in his office, NOW!   
  
H: Huh. How do YOU know?   
  
R: One of his owls just flew in the window and nearly pecked me to death. Letter said we should go IMMEDIATELY.  
  
H: ....   
  
So here I am, awake at SIX TWENTY and unable to go back to sleep. Thanks Ron, thanks Professor. *sighs* Ron's asleep now, that bugger. Love him and hate him at the same time. Hermione? Believe it or not, she's in the library, looking up stuff on our "mission." Yeah, so about the "Oh so urgent" news Dumbledore HAD to tell us at FIVE AM... For one thing, he defended his unruly behavior with "thought you'd like to know before the others." Well, guess what? I don't. But, anyways, he told us that we were going on a "little trip" to - uhh what was it? - oh right, CENTRAL AFRICA. Awesome. Sounds like great fun. Will get to "experience real jungle life." He didn't even tell us how long we'd be there. *laughs weakly* Ha... ha... ha... Must be optimistic, must be optimistic, must be optimistic.... Hell, I'm out for breakfast. Later  
  
10:50 AM  
  
Quidditch break. Hope I'll be able to fly in Africa... Ginny's one of the new chasers this year. I picked her out myself, not because I like her, but because she's brilliant. Honestly. She's one of the best chasers I've ever seen. *grins* Plus, "watching my teammates play" is quite a good excuse to stare at her for ages without feeling guilty. *sighs* Just looking at her makes me feel better.... Hahaha, I never noticed before how sappy I could be. Oops, I guess I should go back to practice. ttyl.   
  
5:00 PM  
  
Just had an early dinner. Feel full, but it's all for a good cause. We're leaving tonight, I think. Prof McGonagall told me to pack up the things I thought I would need for a two-week trip. And so that's what I'm doing now. Or rather, that was what i WAS doing, until I got distracted by a certain red-headed girl... *allows mind to wander*("Ahem" says my inner Hermione.) *Snaps back to reality* Well, anyways, I've figured out what to bring. ("Pack carefully, Harry, you never know what you just might need") Yeah, whatever. List of things to bring: Muggle clothing (Long sleeved shirts and jeans to protect from bug bites and the sort, and slightly shorter clothes for the humid weather), books (Yes, Lupin's teaching us everything we need to know while we're away from school. Bugger), bug spray, my broom (thank god), my wand, and, of course, this fabulous diary(har har). Wonderful list, dont you think? Oh wait, Ron's calling me from inside his mucked up wardrobe.   
  
5:05 PM  
  
R: Harry, do you think we'll be needing dee -o - dor -ant?   
  
H: Uh.. why do you ask, Ron?  
  
R:*scratches head* Dean says Africa really makes you smell bad, with the weather and all the jungle animals.   
  
H: Hmm... *thinks* Right, Ron, excellent point. I'll pack some too.   
  
R: One last thing, Harry.  
  
H: Yes?  
  
R: What's dee - o - dor - ant anyway?  
  
Uh huh. Another thing to add onto my list of "things to pack." Argh, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm actually nervous. How do they know some Death Eaters won't just suddenly pop out behind an elephant and kill me, anyway? Not like I'm afraid or anything... but it just feels like I'm putting everyone I truly care about into danger. They're being taken away from the protection of Hogwarts, of Dumbledore, into the deep jungles of Africa. What if something happens to them? Won't I be to blame? I've already... hurt so many people... Sirius... Cedric...   
  
8:30 PM  
  
In the great hall now, waiting for Dumbledore to arrive with the portkey. Feel like a zoo animal... the whole school is staring at us. Just heard Malfoy crack a joke about Tarzan. Hate him. Hate him. Hate him. Somehow, everyone knows about the trip. Dumbledore told us that they'd be told we were on a special trip for the "gifted," but apparently, someone leaked. Heh, must've been Parvati, never could keep her dumb mouth shut. But, of course, nobody knows the truth behind all of this secrecy except for Ron, Hermione, and myself. The others were informed that this was a top secret ministry survey, and that they've been chosen to participate. But that doesn't stop everyone else from calling them "Potter's knights." Brilliant, eh?   
  
8:35 PM  
  
Where is Dumbledore??? He's late!! Perhaps I should send Hedwig to him and see if he likes being pecked.   
  
8:40 PM  
  
Most of the people involved aren't looking too pleased. Ron and Hermione are conversing quietly but harshly in the corner, flipping through a huge book (about Africa, I presume). Heh. I'd bet a billion galleons that Hermione's trying to teach Ron everything she has learned from her day at the library, while he's taking in nothing but the sight of her - well - you know. Cho is sitting on the steps with Parvati, Padma,Lavender, and Susan Bones. They all have suitcases the size of rhinos and look very nervous. To the left of them is Neville, standing alone and whimpering to himself. I can see his diary sticking out of his robe pocket... along with Trevor, his lovely toad. I'd like to see the expression on McGonagall's face when he tells her he lost his diary. ("No, Harry, stop being mean") Shut up, inner Hermione. Dean and Seamus are standing next to the entrance, walking around in circles while waving nevously at their friends in the crowd. The Weasley twins are grinning in a sinister way at the crowd, waving their latest goodies around. (They had to come back to school to participate) And... Ginny... Ginny is sitting on her suitcase, a little left to the entrance, scribbling furiously into her diary as I am. She looks stunning. But I won't get into her... or I might not be able to stop. Luna Lovegood is standing next to Ginny. She looks like the only person who has managed to gain control of her composure. Grinning broadly, she's reading the latest edition of The Quibbler. Like, no sweat. And here comes - what the hell? Michael Corner? What's he doing here? What   
  
8:50 PM  
  
McGonagall just came over to talk to me. Says there's been a slight change of people who're going. First of all, Hagrid's not going, because he has some business to do with the giants. (darn, i was counting on him to teach me about the big, bad creatures of Africa, now i s'pose Hermione will do) And she's thrown in a few more people, just in case. Lemme read the list and I'll write about it later.   
  
9:00 PM  
  
BLOODY HELL!!! She's added some Slytherins in too! What the -   
  
9:02 PM  
  
She says, "Harry, calm down, calm down. We've realized that although there is a risk in letting them join this research, but Dumbledore says the clue could also lie in your enemies too. So that's why - "   
  
Yes, I understand. I understood. I accept it, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to the explanation. This is outrageous. Completely outrageous. List: Pansy Parkinson (throws up), Milicent Bulstrode (however you spell that, throws up even more), Blaise Zabini (OMFG), Justin Finch Fletchley(decent), Hannah Abbott(uhh), Katie Bell(What??), Alicia Spinnet(Back after graduation), Michael Corner (Although he's going out with Cho now, I'm not too sure I like this guy. Ginny used to fancy him!), Terry Boot(Michael's friend, I think), Ernie Macmillian(he's ok), and Zacharias Smith (Oh, yes, my best friend Zacharias. I love him). Uh huh. Right. No comment. I cannot believe this, but I refuse to write any more about this bs. I don't even know these people all that well! Heck, I'd rather - oh, here comes the great Dumbledore, love him too. HE'S LATE THIRTY MINUTES!!! Ugh, probably won't write any more tonight, Hermione says portkeys that transport you across continents also throw you into unconsciousness for about 12 hours. Well, then, just in case she's right,(For she probably is) I might as well say good night. Good night... and **** those ******* Slytherin bastards!   
  
Deeply irked,   
  
Harry  
  
a/n: To my reviewers: Thanks. 


	3. Day 3

Day 3  
  
11:40 AM  
  
Why, hello again. I've just spent the morning wandering around this place in dismay. Honestly, I would've thought they would be able to pick a better place. Seriously, this is just terrible. Just terrible. When McGonagall said "Central Africa," I assumed she was talking about a CIVILIZATION in Central Africa. Not this stupid... PLACE! Let me describe what I'm seeing right now: Trees, birds, trees, monkeys, trees, Hogwarts students, trees, bugs, trees, dead jungle rhino *sighs* (blame Fred), trees, dead jungle hippo *sighs again* (blame George), trees, a bunch of girls fussing over their hair next to a dead buffalo *slams forehead against rock* (I dont even want to explain this one), and um... did I mention... trees? OH, HECK, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A JUNGLE. A BLOODY JUNGLE!!! My god, seriously, what does Dumbledore think he's doing? Am I supposed to LEARN from this? Or INTERACT WITH THE ENVIRONMENT, perhaps? Damn it. Lupin says it's time for lunch. If I have to eat anything the twins killed...  
  
1:00 PM  
  
Hey. Just finished lunch. Not a Hogwarts lunch, but close enough.(Ladies and Gentlmen, lets give a hand to the all new and improved Harry Optimistic Potter!) Let's see... a bit of scrambled eggs which tasted all right (Mind you, I didn't ask where they came from...), some fried lizards(All of the girls refused to try any, except for Ginny and Lavender), glass of monkey milk (I didn't even know monkeys gave milk...), and, by far the best course, AN EXTRA LARGE HELPING OF CANNED BEEF!!! hahaha, Ron managed to sneak some cans of food from the school kitchens before we left. Oddly, *snickers* Hermione wasn't all too annoyed with the extra house elf labour involved in canning food, in fact... she seemed quite relieved... polished off two whole cans of spinach all by herself. Ha, I suppose spinach must seem like heaven compared to lizard guts to her.   
  
Anyway, everyone seemed a bit relieved after our first lunch. Perhaps this won't be too bad after all... Perhaps... Well, just as long as the Slytherins keep their hands and feet nicely to themselves. "Yes, children, remember, keep your body parts to yourself" Yeah, that includes YOU, Mr. Blaise Zabini. That jerk. During lunch, he sat exceptionally close to Ginny, putting his arm dangerously close to her waist. Yeah, and that's not all. He actually turned and stared at her openly(Ginny, didn't notice, she was busy dipping lizards in monkey milk) while chomping down on one of the drumsticks Pansy Parkinson had given him earlier. (Apparently, Ron wasn't the only one who had thought ahead) And I WAS going to give her a can of her favourite peaches, but Zabini beat me first, offering her a large, tempting piece of chicken. That bastard. Ginny looked at him in astonishment, then set down her lizards, picked up the chicken, and smiled warmly at him. Hell. Hell. Hell. Let me put it this way: Before lunch was over, she had already choked on her food seven times because of his stupid "jokes." They weren't even that funny. (Trust me, I know. I was eaves - err - listening.) Heck. If I write one more word about Ginny and Zabini, I'll puke, then probably run off into the woods for a good cry. Oh my God, she's beautiful.   
  
1:30 PM  
  
Yes. The puke part was true, but it probably wasn't because of Ginny and Zabini. Why? Because everyone else has been throwing up along with me. Could've been something nasty the lizards ate, Zabini offered "intelligently." (Only he would know. They must've taken a few bites out of him.) Damn, I'm pretty tired now. Just spent twenty minutes getting acquainted with the campground. It's not such a bad place, really. Not my type for sure, but better than the Dursley's place. We're settled in this large clearing in the middle of a jungle. No tents have been set up yet, but we'll do that later in the evening. Everyone's wandering around, not really doing anything, just climbing trees, writing in their diaries, taking short walks, exploring, talking under the cool shade, hunting, observing animals, bonding with nature, answering nature's calls, you know, heh. Oh, Hermione says she wants to show me something. later  
  
2:00 PM  
  
Awesome! Hermione gave me a cd player and a couple of her favourite cds. She said they'd probably help take off some of the pressure and annoyance. Obviously, Ron wanted one too, but I think Hermione's keeping him preoccupied enough. lol. So, anyways, right now i'm listening to something called "You're a God" by Vertical Horizon. Brilliant, just brilliant. Am just going to sit back and enjoy the music, maybe sleep a bit. Ahh... the bliss of life.   
  
9:00 PM  
  
I AM PISSED OFF. Want to know why? I just woke up, which translates into: THEY DIDNT WAKE ME UP FOR DINNER!!! Now everything's gone (Thanks to those slytherin hogs), and i have nothing to eat - oh wait... RONNIE, DEAR, where are the cans you brought? *grins* be back later.   
  
9:30 PM  
  
Right. Good dinner. So, I've just noticed - they've put up the tents, great, i didnt even have to help. Oh, by the way, Lupin says today's only the first day - as in it was meant for relaxation. And he hasnt been pushing us into doing all the stuff we should be doing. *grimaces* I cant believe this. Man, I'm tired again... I dont even want to bother with tent groups *yawns* Am just going to an empty tent, and that shall be my tent. Wonderful... *yawns again* G'night, and hopefully tomorrow won't be half as boring as today.   
  
a/n: hey, sorry, school has just started, and i have writers block. I know this chapter isnt exactly err... funny, but, hey, i'm working on it! Next chapter up in two weeks, tops. Review, plz, it's what motivates me. Thanks. 


End file.
